BLIND

Posted in Uncategorized on Februari 4, 2010 by diehatefan

I was young but I wasn’t naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we’d be here
Never thought we’d be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn’t make you see it
Couldn’t make you see it
That I loved you more than you’ll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we’d be here
Never thought we’d be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn’t make you see it
Couldn’t make you see it
That I loved you more than you’ll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn’t make you see it
Couldn’t make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you’ll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

RAKYAT MALAYSIA POYO?

Posted in Uncategorized on Februari 4, 2010 by diehatefan

KENAPA” — satu perkataan yang paling kami kagumi. Kami percaya bahawa segala apa yang berlaku atau ingin dilakukan harus dikaitkan dengan “kenapa”.

Kenapa harus ada kenapa? Cuba perhatikan, perkataan yang sama boleh digunakan dua kali di dalam satu ayat. Menarik bukan?

Graf kebenaran dan kesempurnaan (y) dengan kenapa? (x)
Graf menunjukkan kadar Kebenaran dan kesempurnaan
dengan soalan Kenapa?

“Kenapa”, pada pendapat kami, merupakan satu perkataan berbentuk soalan yang takkan pernah selesai. Seperti sesuatu kejadian buruk yang berlaku berulang kali, dan ia mungkin juga boleh dikategorikan sebagai absurd. Seperti air sungai — tetap mengalir dengan tenang walaupun dihalang dengan satu empangan.

Namun, apa yang cuba kami ketengahkan di sini adalah, perkataan “kenapa” itu ada sambungan dan kesinambungannya. Ia bukan tentang membuat keputusan, tetapi lebih kepada mendekati kebenaran dan kesempurnaan.

Begitu juga dengan pegangan, pendirian atau ideologi yang dipegang, digenggam dan diperjuang. Tidak kira ianya datang dari segi demokrasi atau sosialis, globalisasi atau anarki, haluan kanan atau kiri. Pada permukaannya, itu semua hanya istilah yang dicipta demi membezakan sistem, falsafah, dan cara. Segalanya tetap akan berbalik kepada kenapa.

“Kenapa kita memilih itu? Kenapa kita mendukung ini? Kenapa kita memperjuangkan sesuatu?” Mesti ada kesinambungan yang akan membuatkan kita sedar kenapa. Kemudian, barulah kita boleh bersedia untuk menerima konsikuansi daripada pegangan dan kepercayaan tersebut.

Bagi kami, inilah pendirian yang sudah kurang kewujudannya dalam diri dan jiwa rakyat Malaysia. Sebaliknya, semuanya ingin dijadikan fesyen. Segalanya ingin dijadikan trend. Maka lahirlah segelintir manusia yang suka bercakap tentang sesuatu yang mereka sendiri tidak tahu. Manusia yang berjuang tanpa mengetahui atau memahami sebabnya. Tanpa mereka sedari, mereka sudah jatuh ke dalam golongan yang dikatagorikan sebagai poser. Istilah tidak rasminya “poyo” — bodoh tetapi berlagak pandai.


Diagram Venn

Bila fenomena begini berlaku, dalam apa sistem sekalipun, korupsi akan berlaku. Apa ideologi sekalipun akan menjadi sia-sia. Dari dunia aktivisme hinggalah ke dunia politik. Semuanya sama, jadi tunggang-langgang jika dibiarkan mereka yang poyo ini terus mendukung atau mencumbui sistem yang ada. Buktinya, kita lihat segala gerakan yang pernah dan sedang berlaku di Malaysia ini. Tidak kira dari sudut sosial atau politik. Kita dapat lihat betapa terumbang-ambingnya sebahagian mereka. Seperti satu sarkis.

Kekadang secara tiba-tiba, akan muncul satu kumpulan atau gerakan besar-besaran yang akan mempersoal atau menuntut sesuatu, kemudian, secara tiba-tiba, ia akan hilang begitu saja. Cepat naik dan cepat jatuh. Sebab apa? Bagi kami, ini semua terjadi kerana majoritinya hanya sekadar ikut-ikut saja, bukan benar-benar kental. Ikut suka-suka kerana mungkin pada waktu itu gerakan tersebut sedang jadi ikutan, trend terkini, serta hip.

Hip hop, indie, dan blog

Seperti zaman kebanjiran budaya hip hop di Malaysia pada penghujung 1990an. Semua remaja nak jadi hip hop, belajar menari breakdance, main skateboard. Lepas itu senyap.


(© Maciej Brzana / sxc.hu)

Kini zaman indie katanya. Semua yang konon-kononnya remaja dan golongan muda hendak buat band indie, bila pergi gig masing-masing punya SLR kamera, skinny jeans serta menari shuffle di pusat bandaraya. Semua ini berlaku kerana mereka tidak pernah ambil tahu apa yang mereka buat dan lakukan. Mereka buat bukan kerana mereka benar-benar kental dan faham. Tapi sekadar ingin nampak cool. Kalau tak cool, awek tidak suka, katanya.

Jika gerakan itu mendapat tentangan dari kerajaan atau tidak disokong majoriti rakyat, maka ramailah ahli atau pengikutnya yang tiba-tiba bertukar arah, berubah wajah, malah hilang entah ke mana. Tiba-tiba mereka ada falsafah dan kepercayaan lain. Maka makin lama makin berkurang dan kecillah gerakan itu hingga tinggal segelintir saja yang masih kental percaya dengan perjuangannya. Jadi akhirnya mereka menjadi gerakan minoriti yang tidak mampu melunaskan perjuangan mereka.


(© Craig Jewell / sxc.hu)

Seperti juga menulis blog yang sedang jadi budaya terkini. Tidak sama sekali kami menentang fenomena ini. Kami juga suka dan gembira dengan kelahiran suara-suara alternatif ini. Ia bagus kerana kita mampu menyedarkan media arus perdana, yang sering penuh dengan propaganda dan dusta dalam berita, bahawa mereka tidak selamanya akan berkuasa ke atas minda kita. Akan tetapi bila muncul blogger yang kami rasa menulis untuk suka-suka dan entah apa tujuannya kami masih tidak jumpa, kami rasa ralat, gusar.

Siapalah kami untuk mengatakan yang mereka tidak patut menulis begitu begini? Apa hak kami untuk mengatakan itu dan ini? Kami akui setiap manusia punya hak untuk bersuara. Tapi kami tidak mahu menjadi individu yang tidak belajar dari perkara yang sudah berlalu. Kami tidak mahu pisang berbuah dua, tiga kali.

Kalau terus wujud dan lahir individu yang melakukan sesuatu tanpa sebab, tanpa kenapa, maka pasti saluran alternatif seperti blog yang kita sedang ada ini juga akan jadi tidak berguna. Sekadar menjadi mainan gila-gila remaja yang hanya meminta dikomen gambarnya.

Took from www.thenutgraph.com

By Fared Ayam dan Zahiril Adzim

About the Writer:

Fared Ayam dan Zahiril Adzim adalah graduan baru Akademi Seni, Budaya dan Warisan Kebangsaan (Aswara). Mereka sering bekerjasama dalam menghasilkan karya teater yang mencerminkan realiti masyarakat Malaysia.

SAOSIN WAS A GREAT BLAST

Posted in Uncategorized on Februari 3, 2010 by diehatefan

Hmm, what can i say.. FUCKING AWESOME man!!! To see one of my most favourite band was a great gift and great starter for year 2010. Trust me , more great band will heading to MALAYSIA. but sorry guys,  METAL, HARDCORE & PUNK ROCK band only. Back to Saosin story, its just me and my friend;  the two luckiest person of others friend who got passion to went this gig. But its ok. Its the band that i want to see. Once we reached there i met other friend whom i thought dont like SAOSIN becuase he dont showed any intrest when i told anything about SAOSIN and never sing along in my car when i turn on SAOSIN song. But thats ok, fuck him (dont think you’re great just because you are friend with rockstar or scene people ). wahahahaha, Once i got into KL LIVE, i know my life was about to change when i see SAOSIN. The people has crowded the place. Many type of people and races that night. Chinese, Malay, THE YUNA GANG (wear tudung like YUNA. ouchh, im impressed) . The opening band was LOVE ME BUTCH. They gave great performance with great energy. POST HARDCORE rules man!!! After finishinig their session, the moment that ive bee waiting is appear.. WAHHHHHHHHHHH, its SAOSIN man. In front of my eyes. I cant believe it. To be honest, i felt like i wan to cry. wahahaha. Fuck, im a man ok. Why have to cry. wahahahaha.  Song after song, i felt like want to fly. The songs, the sing along, the sweat, WOOOO. What a great expirience. I never forget the moment. Another happy news SAOSIN told that night they will come back to Malaysia in 6 month. yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Forgot one thing, JUSTIN did his trade mark, “THE GUITAR SPIN” of him,  wahahahahaha. FUCKING AWESOME!!!  Its live , its in front of my eyes. All this time i just look it through youtube. After this, LAMB OF GOD is waiting for me and my friend at SINGAPORE. Another great metal band alive.

Some pix from the gig :

Set list:

  1. Secret
  2. Sleepers
  3. Voices
  4. Changing
  5. Collapse
  6. Deep Down
  7. Far Better To Learn
  8. The Alarming Sound
  9. On My Own
  10. I Never Wanted To
  11. Bury Me
  12. You’re Not Alone
  13. Seven Years
  14. Fireflies
  15. They Perched

FIREFLIES

Posted in Uncategorized on Februari 2, 2010 by diehatefan

Sinking…
I’m falling in too deep and I regret it
“I don’t know”
It’s all we have left to say.
How do we pick ourselves up now?
If the clouds bring the rain,
Before we evaporate,
I’ll never be able to say…
I love you.

Stay bright, little fireflies,
Make light before my eyes…
Stay bright, little fireflies,
Make light before my eyes…

Thinking…
About all my regrets and contradictions.
Where do I go?
I thought this would start like rain…
Do I learn to grow up now,
Or just fade away
Under this tree of shame?
I will not be able to say…
I love you,

Stay bright, little fireflies,
Make light before my eyes…
Stay bright, little fireflies,
Make light before my eyes…

And all you do,
And all you say,
Washes away,
Away with the rain…

And all you thought
Would never change
Washes away,
It will never be the same…

‘Cuz all I see
And all I feel
Takes me away,
Takes me away…

And all you do,
And all you say,
Washes away,
Away with the rain!

And all you thought
Would never change
Washes away!
It will never be the same!

Stay bright, little fireflies…
Make light before my eyes……

Wish I could love you…
And I don’t regret the rain…
Now that I’m sinking,
I will just sink away…

THANK YOU

Posted in Uncategorized on Januari 28, 2010 by diehatefan

To the people who have always supported me
I’ve put you in my rhapsody of everyday thoughts
I hope my feelings of appreciations will reach you
Thank you as always. Really, thank you
No matter where you are I’ll always be thankful you exist

When twilight stains the town red I walked around casually
The number of people coming and going increase around noon
So I tried standing still one way or the other
As if being burried, little by little
Manners were moving, being carried into the gap in my heart
You’re not alone. C’mon everyone
Let’s support eachother together

An uncertain future is scary, and then you faced me
And without saying anything you softly took my hand
My sadness was halved and my pleasure doubled
My life was turned around instantly
And you swore to run to my side

Far away far away
Even if we’re widely seperated in the flow of time
The memories of the days we spent together
Will never ever fade away
Friends, and family, and lovers, and all the people we met
“Thank You!!” it’s thanks to everyone
Again from tomorrow on we can advance strongly

No one is living alone
We always take mutual care of eachother
And when we can’t see eye to eye, we talk things over
We want to laugh so much as to be carrying our stomachs
But then, why do we speak ill of these times
When we have no intention to harm one another?
I love you so much it’s absurd
It’s a little embarrassing, but I mean it

Surely everyone is a little shy being face to face
And words won’t come so easily out of our mouths
But in reality, we really want to say those things
Something is getting in the way and everyone is bluffing
You’ll be exposed in time
Words carry a strange power
It’s simple. Starting with yourself, surely you can do it…

When you turn around I WILL BE THERE
JUST FOREVER like you said

CHATOYMENT

Posted in Uncategorized on Januari 26, 2010 by diehatefan

Turn on the lights
Step back and listen to my words
I’m tired of waiting for you to make it up in your mind
Let me out of here, let me breath again
Do something better than complaining
You are the only one to change yourself

You rise me up and spit me to the ground
Your selfishness is tearing us apart
There’s nothing special in the sky
That you pretend to see
It’s lonely cold and dark we know it both

Why are you afraid
To take the step beyond the borders?
We can never know
What is waiting there for us

It is a close call
So we can barely breath

It’s always good enough for you
Not to change anything
I know you’re just too scared
To say it all aloud

You’re always so indifferent

And I won’t waste my time on letting go
It’s not worth dying for
And I won’t chase your dreams instead of mine
It’s not worth dying for

Stop being a fake
I’m watching you
Your lies turn you into a slave
If you’re reading this
You’re probably pretty close
To the day that will save us all

Now everyone listen
With your rotting hearts
It’s not the way how things should be
It’s not the way how things should be

Why are you afraid
To take the step beyond the borders?
We can never know
What is waiting there for us

MEANING IN TRAGEDY

Posted in Uncategorized on Januari 13, 2010 by diehatefan

WHO KNEW

Posted in Uncategorized on Januari 11, 2010 by diehatefan

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you’d be around
That’s right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
That’s right

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
Cause they’re all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I’d give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
‘fore they’re long gone
I guess I just didn’t know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

I’ll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
And I won’t forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
Cause they’re all wrong and
That last kiss
I’ll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep

SEMUA TENTANG KITA

Posted in Uncategorized on Januari 11, 2010 by diehatefan

Waktu terasa semakin berlalu
Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita
Akan tiada lagi kini tawamu
Tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati

Teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama
Ceritakan semua tentang kita

Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa

MISGUIDED GHOST

Posted in Uncategorized on Januari 11, 2010 by diehatefan

I am going away for a while
I’ll be back don’t try and follow me
I’ll return as soon as possible
See I’m tryin’ to find my place
It might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes,

And run from them
From them
With no direction
We’ll run from them
From them
With no conviction

I’m just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don’t need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go in circles

Now I’m told that this is life
Pain is just a simple compromise
So we can we get what we want out of it
Someone care to classify
Broken hearts and twisted minds
So i can find, someone to rely on,

And run to them
to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not
Useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there’s no one road
We should not be the same
I’m just a ghost
And still they echo me
They echo me in circles.